I'm sort of dating a guy who is really good looking. There is a LOT more too him than that; he's really smart, very clever, and hilarious if you give him a little time to land his feet. He's also one of the nicest people I've ever met.

This post isn't about him or our relationship.

It's more about me feeling like an ogre. I know that I'm not ugly, but feeling 'alright' about myself isn't really working for me whenever I think about him. When I say he's really good looking, what I mean is that if he were any taller he would be a model. There are leading men in Hollywood that are less attractive than him.

He's obviously attracted to me for some reason. (I think he thinks I'm funny and trustworthy?) And maybe he's chosen to overlook the fact that he's physically out of league. And that I'm five years older than him. 

I also know that it's easy to change your body composition, so I could whip myself into shape pretty easily. Though I'm not worried as much about my body (guys are programmed to like womens' bodies), but I can't really change my face, you know? He falls into the HOT/GORGEOUS category and I fall into the CUTE, AT BEST category.

I'm just curious to see if any of you have ever been in a similar position and how you managed to handle things? I can see myself totally sabotaging things if I can't get over the mind hurdle.

I'm tempted to ask him about it, but it's been a really slow build and I don't want to sabotage it by bringing attention to a major insecurity.

There are a lot of guys who prefer CUTE to HOT/GORGEOUS (me being one of them).  Beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder.  Scientifically, humans are more attracted to certain symmetries and proportions, but the rest is a product of nurture.  People often look for physical qualities found in their own parents because that's what they grew up with.  It's also not unusual to feel insecure about your own looks…even the HOT/GORGEOUS ones are self-conscious.

As for myself, I wonder every freakin' day why Amy is attracted to my fat ass.  I'm no prize piece for sure.  I just remind myself that she finds me cute and that's all that counts.  Our physical attraction to each is a product of pheromones, certain key physical characteristics and genetics.  And who am I to argue with genetics?

There is so much more than looks that make a person gorgeous/hot or cute.  All it takes is one little accident to make a person not so good looking anymore…

Personally, I am more attracted to a persons character, humour, attitude and how they make me feel than if they have the perfect body, the perfect face, etc.  and trust me, I am far from being perfect in body or face.. lol

we all know people who are good looking and beautiful but have the personality of a wet dish rag or are so full of themselves that they are sickening.  Those are not worth my time, nor my energy in trying to see past their ignorance, arrogance, etc. 

I wish we were all born with this type of attitude.. but unfortunately, you have to learn it..

Obviously he likes you for a reason.. and if he makes you feel good, then enjoy..  don't spend too much time worrying about your looks.. life is too short to worry….

Plus, if this is who I think it is posting…. you're a hell of a lot more gorgeous than you give yourself credit for.

Maybe it has a little to do with him being 5 years younger and smarter than me. But it doesn't help that he's incredible to look at.

I say enjoy it for what it is…. add to his list of already-impressive credentials good taste in women. 

Oh Gosh..I am blushing…you are too kind.

*conk*

Nevermind. Its not me. LOL.

Okay….my input. I've tried to tell my son this for years and now I am working on my 37 year old nephew who is seperating from a high maintenance beauty queen who made his life a living hell.

Everyone has their own idea of beauty. I used to have a different view than I do now.

You have to take into account more than just what someone looks like. You have to look at all aspects of the person from their looks to personality, to sense of humor, how they react to stress, how they are with other people, their level of comfort in a crowd and even things such as their level of maintenance.

Yes, he might be a supermodel, but his tastes in women might be exactly how he sees you. So it does not matter if you dont think your are up to his "playing level", it only matters what he thinks.

I see women in whole new way these days, even though it does not matter as I am not nor will I be in the market.

I just appreciate more the god given beauty, natural curves and outgoing personality that some women have and no longer overlook women I would not give a second glance to in high school. Sometimes I'd like to go back….

So dont be discounting yourself.

Besides, if my guess is the same as Jen, you are amazingly beautiful.

Ditto, Babe. If ye are who I think, than ditto. You are gorgeous and I'd love to have an ounce of that wit and charm that goes along with it.  :)

Well I know who it is and she's a raging hottie.

I gotta agree with everyone so far.  Do not ever overlook the fact that we all know "HOT/GORGEOUS" people that you just want to bitch-slap because they are so shallow.  He obviously likes you as you are!!!  Enjoy that and don't sabotage it by questioning your worth and attractivness. 

(and I am clueless cause I have no idea who this is…)

Shuttup, Ricardo.

Make me, sweet cheeks.

*chuckle*

Someone's gonna get spanked, I can feel it.

more like clobbered!

ROFL.

I wish!

yeah, i hear you like it rough.  *runs*

What?  I do.  Don't run, I need a spanking!

The reason I don't use my name is because every single time I mention a relationship on this board it immediately goes into the shitter.

Case in point, I've been stood up on what I expected to be a rather promising weekend. And I'll be out of town next weekend.

My life sucks.

And I think my mind is going.

Well, let me tell you, my opinion is that no man is worth any of it - but then again, I'm a bit jaded about everything.