How do you tell a good friend his parties suck and his food always makes you ill?

via stripper-gram.

How did I not see this before? 

By not going.  Or if he's a really good friend, by telling him that his parties suck and his food always makes you ill. 

On second thought, Moxie for the win!

I think I'm going to start throwing parties at my house and see if he'll relinquish control.  I'll probably use the strippers, too.